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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Shifting Gears

I've been pushing myself harder than ever at the gym, and I think it's one of the reasons I'm not losing.

Strange, isn't it?

But I've been binging. I've been getting migraines one to two times a week, generally after the gym. The past two days I've been starving, and I've been having flank pain (indicative of kidney problems). I freaked out and thought "anorexia can cause kidney failure, and hair loss is a sign of improper kidney function". And then I went to breakfast with my family and ate EVERYTHING.

Two eggs, a serving of hashbrowns, two slices of toast, two pieces of bacon...and I still have a migraine threatening to form, and I'm about to grab some ice cream because the sugar cravings are so bad I'm literally about to start shaking XD

So I think I've been pushing myself too hard, on too few calories. I'm going to pick up my intake.
I've been at about 500. I do 40 minutes at 29 resistance of an incline of 9 on one of the ellipticals. I then do a stair climber at a 9 resistance for 10 minutes, and then run 1.5 miles without stopping to walk, and cool off for the rest of the second mile. I then go to weights, completing approximately an hour, and stretch for fifteen minutes. I burn, according to the counter on the machines, about 1100 calories during my cardio. Not sure about the weights.

And yet I'm gaining. My pants are getting loose, but I'm not budging. And then I get migraines and binge until I feel sick, because it's the only thing that helps pain STOP.
So I'm trying to up my intake. I'm going to work up to around 900 calories, maybe even 1000. I want to get my body used to a higher in take and get my metabolism running like it used to (get it running even better than it used to because of the exercising) and then I'll do a cut for about two or three weeks back down to 600, go up to 1000 again...I'm going to jump around.

But I think...when i get into the 130'

I'm going to start working myself up to regular eating.
I'm going to go slowly. I want to keep losing, and I'll be okay to slow down, because part of the pressure for me was that I had to be under 120 by the time fall semester started, and since I think I'm going to be doing the personal training thing instead, I'm sort of okay with just...taking this last step slower. And I want to make sure that as I lose, I'm losing it in a way where when I'm done, I can keep it off. I'll have trained myself how.

I feel terrible about today already. I can't believe i ate that much, and I know the only way to stop it is to increase my intake, because I'm having starvation migraines more and more, and my body always hurts, and my hair is getting really thin.
And I just...I need to get better.
Even if just even myself out for a little bit.

I don't have control.

I would rather eat higher and have control, and lose slower than i was...than have no control, and lose nothing all together.

It's all about knowing your body.

Also, has anybody noticed the pattern? That people seem to be succeeding and/or going stagnant and/or having problems on here generally at the same time? I think it's interesting.

♥ Good luck, lovelies


  1. Yes! I've totally picked up on the pattern our collective consciousness has been all Negative Nancy as of late. I'm hoping there willl be an upswing of positivity though because it sucks to see my fellow bloggers upset, reading their posts made me take a step back and see where I was and gave me the will to make a difference for myself. (I'm only on Day 2 but still!)

    I totally get working out more and the scale being stubborn and sticking to the same damn numbers!!! Grrr! But on the other hand my mom did make a comment last night that I was looking skinny! Granted "skinny" is OVERflattery but it does mean there has been a change for the better in my body. And thy makes me feel a lol better and want to continue

  2. I was going somewhere with that but my phone is being totally annoying and difficult right now and blogger doesn't have a free and kick ass app for me to download!

    Anyway, I'm glad you're making the decision about being a trainer, it's obvy you'll be great at it! Have you tried a migraine medicine to see if that will help? Excedrin Migraine has been my godsend!

  3. Well, if you're gaining, but your clothes are looser, you're gaining muscle, which in turn will raise your bmi, which will make it possible for you to eat more and still lose! : D I think you are right, that you need to be in control and it's better to just eat more because it sounds like what you're doing now is not working : (
    I've noticed the pattern too...but oddly enough, I'm doing better than I ever have....

  4. when you loose weight your weight loss will slow down theres nothing you can do about it because your body needs less calories thats why really fat people can loose weight pretty fast without starving but then it slows doen and then if your one of my family you give up and get fat again



  5. Yessss, your body is sooo rebeling. You're gonna hurt your thyroid or something. :(

    I think you have the right mind set, eating normal and getting your metabolism back up to where it used to be.

    Listen to your body,
    maybe you arent supposed to function on 500 cals..? :/