Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I've been pushing myself harder than ever at the gym, and I think it's one of the reasons I'm not losing.
Strange, isn't it?
But I've been binging. I've been getting migraines one to two times a week, generally after the gym. The past two days I've been starving, and I've been having flank pain (indicative of kidney problems). I freaked out and thought "anorexia can cause kidney failure, and hair loss is a sign of improper kidney function". And then I went to breakfast with my family and ate EVERYTHING.
Two eggs, a serving of hashbrowns, two slices of toast, two pieces of bacon...and I still have a migraine threatening to form, and I'm about to grab some ice cream because the sugar cravings are so bad I'm literally about to start shaking XD
So I think I've been pushing myself too hard, on too few calories. I'm going to pick up my intake.
I've been at about 500. I do 40 minutes at 29 resistance of an incline of 9 on one of the ellipticals. I then do a stair climber at a 9 resistance for 10 minutes, and then run 1.5 miles without stopping to walk, and cool off for the rest of the second mile. I then go to weights, completing approximately an hour, and stretch for fifteen minutes. I burn, according to the counter on the machines, about 1100 calories during my cardio. Not sure about the weights.
And yet I'm gaining. My pants are getting loose, but I'm not budging. And then I get migraines and binge until I feel sick, because it's the only thing that helps pain STOP.
So I'm trying to up my intake. I'm going to work up to around 900 calories, maybe even 1000. I want to get my body used to a higher in take and get my metabolism running like it used to (get it running even better than it used to because of the exercising) and then I'll do a cut for about two or three weeks back down to 600, go up to 1000 again...I'm going to jump around.
But I think...when i get into the 130's...like...135...
I'm going to start working myself up to regular eating.
I'm going to go slowly. I want to keep losing, and I'll be okay to slow down, because part of the pressure for me was that I had to be under 120 by the time fall semester started, and since I think I'm going to be doing the personal training thing instead, I'm sort of okay with just...taking this last step slower. And I want to make sure that as I lose, I'm losing it in a way where when I'm done, I can keep it off. I'll have trained myself how.
I feel terrible about today already. I can't believe i ate that much, and I know the only way to stop it is to increase my intake, because I'm having starvation migraines more and more, and my body always hurts, and my hair is getting really thin.
And I just...I need to get better.
Even if just even myself out for a little bit.
I don't have control.
I would rather eat higher and have control, and lose slower than i was...than have no control, and lose nothing all together.
It's all about knowing your body.
Also, has anybody noticed the pattern? That people seem to be succeeding and/or going stagnant and/or having problems on here generally at the same time? I think it's interesting.
♥ Good luck, lovelies