Monday, April 5, 2010
"What's with all the hooplah?"
127.2lb's. I've gained back a pound, which is relatively minor considering how yesterday went. Migraines leads to me breaking, and I wound up eating two soft steak tacos (steak and cheese only) and a piece of a steak quesadilla (steak and cheese only--also, I know I can't spell it XD) and a bowl of cereal from El Pollo Locco. I don't even want to think about the calorie count in that. I also had a 100 calorie thing. And then I just laid around grabbing my head and staying curled up.
I hate holidays. Stress and having to work when I normally have a day off, made me just feel absolutely miserable.
That, and crying. Which is also a typical response to holidays. I'm so selfish for being depressed when I have a family, no matter how broken it is. A lot of people don't even have parents. Who am I to feel pathetic when I have better parents than most people could ever wish for? When I at least have parents?
Just something else to work on. One more imperfection to hide.
My cuts from Friday haven't faded much. They still hurt. I actually sawed at the skin on my legs in a lot of places, and they're still raised lines that you can see through my pants sometimes.
I can't believe I gained back a pound.
But at least today, I still feel very full from yesterday, so I haven't been all that hungry. I can get away with eating relatively little, if anything at all. I will admit i had two more slices of that stupid quesadilla this morning. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I shouldn't have, but my headache was still lingering, and at least it helped to keep it away.
Can't linger on the failures of yesterday.
Only the drives of right now.
I will lose this pound. And more.
Consider this a boost to confuse you and make you suddenly burn faster, and prevent you from slowing down. So please to be dropping me down quick into the 125 range, and then lower. It will be much appreciated.
I'm in an artistic writing mood, but can't think of anything to write. BAH. I've also been unreasonably DOWN the past few days, and I'm sick of it. So I'm going to be better now. Flip that switch of depression and kick in the happy attitude. Even if I don't feel it, at least I can pretend, and eventually, it makes you feel happy. Because you can't fucking cry through a smile. At least not easily.
One of the best lessons I ever learned in life was from the Animorphs books, and it was Marco who said it. I don't remember the exact line, but it was basically:
You have two choices in life. Laugh, or cry. I choose to laugh. I like it more, and if I cried, I'd never stop.
I need to find the exact quote where he said it in.
speaking of favorite childhood memories,
I've been watching POWER RANGERS AGAIN. The ORIGINAL you guys.
It was so cheesy
but let me tell you
TOMMY STILL ROCKS! TOMMY WOULD BEAT HARRY POTTER, VOLDEMORT, AND PANSY ASS EDWARD CULLEN, ALL AT ONCE, AND WITH HIS EYES CLOSED!
He IS the original girl-crush, ok?
Feeeeeeel the nostalgia.
BE STRONG GIRLIES!
REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU ALL MASSIVELY!
xoxoxo PrettyWreck xoxoxo