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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Us of Lesser Gods

4 miles.
It's a lot longer than you think it would be, yeah?

I got onto the treadmill yesterday with the intent of running, but didn't think I'd run THAT much. I managed to find a way to move that didn't kill my leg, and then I just rolled with it. I pushed past the point where I started to feel queasy, because I wasn't at the full 2 mile point yet. As soon as that happened, I realized I didn't feel winded or anything. Like I could just keep going. So I did. Straight through to 3.5 miles. I stopped because I started to dry heave, and wound up making my way around the track trying to chill out. Cold chills like you wouldn't believe...severe stomach cramps. I finally dragged myself home, where I tried to have some water and promptly started to gag. I couldn't eat anything. All together, with the cool down around the track, i did over 4 miles, not including the other ellipticals I had done before my run.

It paid off, though. 133.8 this morning, which is a new low, and a great way to start off september. I've been starving all day, though, and it's hard for me to not just...start inhaling anything that comes my way. I even did a terrible thing and bought some mini donuts from the vending machine. Ate two, and then chewed and spit the third. There's three more left in the package. I'm keeping them stashed in case I have another weak moment. it's better to have one then to break and uncontrollably eat a whole fucking package.

I feel like my body is in shock or something. Starving but refusing food. I'm thirsty and hungry like no other. But it's all good.

I don't think it helped that I found a website on Skinny Love's blog called "This is why you're fat". I think I got to the hurler burger before I DID hurl. EEW.

Never knew food could be it's own reverse thinspo!


  1. ahh im having the same problem. im gona end my 3 day fast today but i have more energy and am less hungry than i was the entire time. maybe my body is over the whole eating thing? lol

  2. this is why youre fat omg i always check it out its sooo sick

    you ran four miles WOW you go

  3. Woohoo for 4 miles! I can't even run one mile without collapsing haha.

    Ooh, sorry about that site! But it's just SO ridiculously disgusting, and for some odd reason I'm drawn to disgusting that's why it's on there. At least it didn't make you hungry? (I hope not, because even nasty things look tasty when you're starving...)