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Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A Post, in which your mind is violated by bowchika


125.
125.
125.
125.4.

Step on the scale.
Off the scale.
On the scale.
Off the scale.
It's a comfort.
I can do this again. Not be afraid. My weight is going down.
I'm winning this.


125-125.4 today.
I made my goal.
Exactly.
Means I get my 1000 calorie day.

Didn't start out as smoothly as I planned. Got woken up at 9 and told that we're having people coming to look at the house in twenty minutes. "Anywhere between 9am-11:30." I have a job interview. I need to leave at 11:30 for it, Dad. "....shit. Shitshitshit!"
We're not supposed to be in the house.
But I had to stay to get ready.



It's almost 11:30 right now, and they haven't come yet.
Douchewhistles.



Meant I had to rush breakfast, rather than enjoy it. NO eggies in a basket, sadly, cos I couldn't get the kitchen dirty. Instead, I was left with a breakfast toaster strudle for 180 calories, rather than my 130 for the eggs in a basket. Made me wince the whole time I was eating it. But, I'll have to make up for that elsewhere, won't I?




I am totally not feeling interview ready today. I'm tired, grumpy, and needing to collapse on my bed and masturbate do wholesome things like nap or snuggle with my dog. And by snuggle with my dog I mean read porn.


It's going to be a very long day.
I hate the ovulation cycle of my monthly cycle.
I'm just hitting it.
I'm like, "Oh, is that a magazine about how to do a floral arrangement? That is SO sexy. I need to go make naughty, now...." I think a can of Pepsi could somehow remind me of something sensual. I mean, take anything unsexy, and I could sexify it during this phase. It's really why I hold so strongly to my vows of celibacy-until-in-a-relationship. Because otherwise, I would turn into a rampaging she-hulk-of-whores and jump on anything that's ALIVE (or anything that's inanimate for that matter. I would be the dog going into heat for the first time, somehow thinking that a locker is an acceptable item to make sweet, sweet love to.)




...right.
Ugh.
This interview is going to be hard.
(AHAHAHAHAHAHA LIKE MY DICK! ZING! XD)



Oh maaaaaaan.
OK.
I'm uh
totally done now XD

SORRY FOR MOLESTING YOUR EYES WITH THIS POST.
I'll update you all later on how it goes.

9 comments:

  1. Tee hee hee, this made me giggle. I hear you, I can't tell you how annoyed my bf gets when I want to do the naughty constantly. :P

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  2. congrats on meeting your goal! & holy shit that picture..pepsi cans won't turn me on, but that photo is ridiculous

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  3. Hahahaha this post was hilarious! Thanks for giving me a laugh today :)

    Congrats on meeting your goal for today! Enjoy the 1000 cals!

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  4. Good luck at your interview! I hope it goes well :) Also, about the last post too, I know how you feel. Whatever you do, I will support you.

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  5. Haaaa goodluck you horny girlllly!

    Don't get distracted by all the muscley men at your interview.

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  6. hahaha i really liked this post ! lol

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  7. You gave me a good ole fashion giggle.

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  8. I nearly died laughing. My sides! They hurt so baaaad!

    For the love of little children stay AWAY from he produce section!!!

    *roflmao*

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