Follow me on Twitter
All requests for following must be approved by PrettyWreck
before tweets can be seen ♥

Ask me Anything
A formspring account where I'll try to
reply to all questions posed ♥


Monday, May 24, 2010

I got 99 problems but a meal ain't one....


...oh yeah, that's right. I went there. I MADE THE SONG THINSPO WITH ONE CHANGE OF WORDS. YEEEEEAAAAAAH.


SO
I went to the Maury show!!!







Apparently, I'm your Daddy.

SHAZAAAM.

Okay, done now XD



Yesterday was some serious nonsense with that colon cleanse stuff. Thinking of taking more today, but it left me bloated and all yuck. So I might give it a day off to let my body return to normal. 124.4lb's today, which is after doing some pretty hard exercising, laxxies, restricting (which kinda failed near the end there because of my typical shit with ambien binging, FUCK), and then going to the park. It was a cold night, and I was pleased about that, because I got to wear my leg warmers, arm warmers, and a cute leather jacket I salvaged from the lost and found before it got dumped in the trash.

Well...not sure where they were going to dump it. But I snagged it before they could take it away. Bebe brand. Brown leather. Still has the new smell to it. I'm very pleased with my acquisition.




Though now I feel guilty. They donate all of the clothing and stuff to houses for battered women. There were a billion fucking coats, but this one is really NICE and my boss pulled it out because I didn't get the Armani one last time since he forgot, and he wanted to make it up to me. So...I'm not a bad person for keeping it, am I?



Right?







Yuck.
Hate moral quandaries.
Why can't I be vain and greedy?
It's not like I could have less friends than I do now.


...wait! I could. Curses upon it all!




One of my friends I met with last night had just gotten back from Disney Land. She told me her boyfriend was pissed because he was sick when I called. He apparently said to her and a guy named C, "It's not fair. The one time Pretty wants to hang out, and I'm fucking sick. I can never get her to come hang out with us!"



I sort of just stared at my friend for a few minutes and asked really confused, "...you mean he really wants me there? I thought I was sort of like just another faceless person in the big group or something."
To which my friend got this confused look on her face and said, "...we talk about you all the time. C has been hearing about you for months before he met you. We're always telling him how funny you are, and P [her boyfriend] has told him that you're hot...."

I made a confused noise. Sat back and looked out the window of her car at the park we were chilling in. It was sort of...strange...to realize that people might actually WANT to be around me.....

AND NOW FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE
99 Problems (at least a little bit of the song) as interpreted by PrettyWreck


I got the hunger role on the food patrol
Fat that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Docs and critics they say she's "Getting Too Close"
I'm from the hunger side, fatass, it's the life I chose
If you grew up with Big Mac smell in ya nose
You'd be fighting for thin and refraining from dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my ribcage you can keep your lips closed
I don't eat beef or meat or go to dinner shows
They don't serve Vegan foods or any shit SO
Mags glamourize the disappearing ass
So advertisers can give 'em more bones for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as,
Or understand the will power that anorexia has
I'm from obese to underweight and I ain't done
I got 99 problems but a meal ain't one
Hit me


99 problems but a meal ain't one
If you're havin' fat problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a meal ain't one
Hit me





AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Okay, I officially need a life.
THIS POST ACHIEVES WHOLE NEW LEVELS OF LAME
BUT YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT!




God I just read through that and it was so lame I facepalmed.
So why, if I am so embarassed, am I gonna share it???



BECAUSE.
I tots can.
HEED IT.

♥ ♥ ♥ PrettyWreck ♥ ♥ ♥

16 comments:

  1. hahaha you crack my shit up. Love the song ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha - it is fantastically lame, love it!

    I can see why people would want to hang out with you, it's a shame you don't always see how wonderful you are

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha, YOU.

    ARE.

    SO fucking awesome.


    :D

    And if *I* were around you? Like, within reasonable distance of being around you? I'm guessing I'm not...I mean, Texas just seems like it's far away from where everyone else is...

    I would SO want to be around you all the time.

    Yep.

    As creeperish as that sounds, I'm leavin' it up there.

    Mmhmm. And even though I've taken a break from blogging because it feels like I have nothing at all good to say about anything...I really don't...I do have something good to say here:

    You're fuckin' rock my socks. :)

    Stay lovely, darling.
    <3
    P.D.

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha LMAO!! this is great. love the song.

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahaha lame song, but it got me laughing!!!

    Enjoy ur jacket xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. lmao awesome! And no, I think it was fine that you took the jacket. Rock it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. haha, you made my day! that is the best song ever:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. ahaha your posts never cease to make me laugh ♥

    ReplyDelete
  9. LMAO Cray-Z instead of Jay-Z. I dig it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. OMG I love you so much! This is hilarious :)

    And I do not think you are a bad person for taking the jacket. I would have done the same thing! It's a Bebe jacket, for crying out loud! You deserve it :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. i have one thing to say

    YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Gave you a shoutout, girl!!! Check it out.

    Beautiful Blogger Award :)

    xo
    Victoria

    ReplyDelete
  13. I may never stop laughing. Pretty, you're a genius!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I LOVE YOU.


    seriously. you're the best. my god. i think i might stalk you. seriously.

    jks lol.

    but seriously though.

    anyway. you rock.

    ReplyDelete
  15. XD Thanks for making my morning. You were right, that was the epitome of lame, but it was the coolest lame ever, if that make sense :P

    ReplyDelete