- In the end, you are exactly--what you are.
- Put on a wig with a million curls,
- put the highest heeled boots on your feet,
- yet you remain in the end just what you are.
Mephistopheles, from the novel "Faust"
I love that line. I was looking for something to include in this entry and it just FIT.
I binged very badly last night. Shot up to 127 when I woke up at 4am. Didn't bother checking my weight again until after I got back from job 1, and was down to 125.8. Not sure what's going on, or if I can care anymore. I should avoid the scale for a while.
I'm very tired.
Haven't had a chance to go pick up the orajel yet.
Yesterday was just...I don't know what it was. I went home and just...didn't think. I wasn't even hungry. I just ate. Like, I knew I wanted to starve, but it didn't hit that what I was doing was taking in calories. It just didn't click.
My head is in no place to handle these things right now! I am sick. And I need a nap.
Ho hum.
Whine whine whine.
If any of you loved me, you would come here right. now., at this very instant, and let my fat ass flop on you and nap, provided I didn't kill you with my MASSIVE WEIGHT. I could totally crush a grown man with my obesity.
...or at least a toddler. Maybe a teenager. Perhaps a small woman?
I could at least smother a man with my thigh fat....
...why am I now picturing the schematics of this?
....now YOU are picturing the schematics of this.
Aren't you?
Admit it.
You're visualizing how it would happen....
......mmmm....blubbery death.....
Right. Anyway. Where was I?
I had a point to this.
I think.
In all truth, I lost it somewhere along the way. Today has been odd, to say the very least. Apparently, a guy who has been my friends for years has decided he is in love with me, and if he can't have me, then he will settle for no woman! So I received a message today (that my client I was training saw when she grabbed my phone to check the time) asking how gay it made him if he swallowed, or if it made him gayer that he let the guy cum on his face......
.....luckily she was liberal, and was cracking up. I was horrified when I saw what happened, and then realized that he was telling me, essentially, that he was now doing a guy.
Because I'm the only girl he wants.
The man who quite possibly loves breasts more than I do.
I don't know if I'm flattered, or insulted, that I've turned a man gay....
....huh.
My life really is kind of unique, isn't it? I forget sometimes. But it's where I live. This sort of thing isn't as uncommon here as one might imagine. But I live in a place where our Mayor once was interrupted during an interview to be told that the cleaning crew was having a hard time fetching the strippers panties off of his moose head in his office....welcome to my home town.
When I first went to another major metropolitan area, I was so confused because there was a controversy over a billboard that showed cleavage.
I was confused.
Because a billboard I had seen on my way out of town had a woman who was completely naked except for stars over her nips, and words written across that area. I was like, "....that's...indecent?"
Magnificent, I tell you. Surrounded by glamor, perfection, and pantie clad moose heads. And men who decide to jump into homosexual relationships as acts of rebellion. Hoorah!
Love my life.
Wow, whatever the point was to this entry, I'm quite certain I missed it.
Oh well.
I'll think of it later, and then be too lazy to write another entry.
♥ PrettyWreck ♥
Well that should put some holes in your self-doubt. XD Turning a straight, gay.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, You Are a wonderful, cool-to-the-max person that approximately 400 and change people look up to. Just saying =]
I love this :)
ReplyDeletexoxox
great entry, Don't ever give up n I can relate guys r douches n what he did is not on u i dont think jus keeping forward n never look back....
ReplyDeleteomg...he loves you so much he's sucking dick because he wants to share the p33n experience with you? LMAO
ReplyDeleteyour life is awwwweeeessssommee.
also, thanks for the compliment! I've heard a lot of people say they want to do my makeup but NO ONE EVER DOES IT?! if you want to do it, PLEAZE MAKE ME PRETTY NAO. lol
okay?
okay.
lastly....meditate. take some time to really get into your own head, and into the bones of your body to see what is truly necessary. sometimes your body wants the same things you want, but it resists the paths you choose to accomplish those goals. if you can find a path that satisfies both you and your body, things happen almost miraculously. <3
I love you. I mean it. Like girlylove you. You're officially my random sister twin type-like person.
ReplyDeleteI love the quote at the beginning of you post!
ReplyDeleteyou wrote exactly my day... wonder if there is a word like "doppelgänger" for written pieces.../xo
ReplyDeleteI love your posts so much!
ReplyDeleteYou can nap on me any day, Pretty. I've had bigger and heavier people than YOU try to squish me :p
ReplyDeleteWoah, if he can't have you he'll turn to guys? :O You go girl!
iiiii love it when you writeee things.
ReplyDeletelol I don't know whether to laugh or cry for you. I have days like that every so often. I'm a bit of a masochist so I usually just laugh. I mean what the fuck are you supposed to do?
ReplyDeletemy reaction to this post:
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