Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Skinny Love: Have you ever heard of Manchester Orchestra? I was listening to songs from their new Album, and watching one of the videos, and one reminded me of you. You had put up a post that you deleted (I believe), and I saw part of it. But yeah, it's called "The Only One" by Manchester Orchestra.
margeurite: Thank you for your words. Your support makes me happy--I know it should seem like a lot, but it doesn't feel like it. I know if it were someone else, I would be happy for them, but we all tend to be harder on ourselves than anyone else is. It's part of living in our own heads.
So tomorrow I go to the doctor instead of class. I'm going to visit my math teacher on Wednesday with a note and tell her that I pulled my arm before I actually did it, so I can get an extension on our latest quiz. By Saturday I should have a script for my ADD meds, but I think my last swing is coming down a bit. I'm feeling more focused, and was able to actually write a paper yesterday without going nuts from a need for distraction. I've also laid heavily off the caffeinne, though, so that could have something to do with it.
Today is, for food, not a good day. I put the scale away, and I had Taco Bell. It was part of a way of keeping up appearances, I guess. One of the guys on the shift before mine made a joke about not seeing me eat, ever (we see each other sometimes during the day, and I no longer have food while waiting for class to start, or come into work with breakfast), and that I've lost a lot of weight and have probably "gone to the anorexics". So I brought in Taco Bell and ate two soft tacos. The calories in those things are killer, so I'm not eating anything else, but I needed to do it, because jokes become suspicion soon enough. So I'm going to try to make sure they all see me eating at some point--even if it's nothing big, but like grapes or crackers.
I'm not letting myself be angry at me for it. I was super depressed from it earlier. I also felt sick as a dog. It's been forever since I've eaten that much food in one sitting. I almost threw up just from the weight of it in my stomach.
I found some cool songs though. I'll make some ring tones out of them and post up links for anyone interested, probably some time this weekend :3 If I can find a good place to host them, I mean.