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Thursday, April 23, 2009


"So you ran a mile, and then used weights."
"...what sort of bra were you wearing?"
"Excuse me?"
"What sort of bra were you wearing?"
"A sports bra."
"How many sports bras?"
"...there's your problem."

Apparently, I fucked my back up something fierce. And the reason my shoulder gave out in the middle of weights isn't because my personal trainer was as fag (sorry if I just offended anyone), but because my BREASTS HATE ME.

Now, I'm "lucky". I have triple D breasts. When I was at my smallest, when my hipbones actually stuck out, I was still a D.

This means I have to wear three bras now when I run. Because my massive fat on my chest has decided to try and KILL ME.

On another note, I got off work tonight. I switched days with another girl (I'm a supervisor D:), but I don't remember calling in. I got some awesome drugs that wiped my ass out, and my boss messaged me to let me know I had it off, because he said I told him to, and that I was "more fucked up than 13yo lush". I love my boss sometimes. I do have a doctors note, if I can just find it.

Yesterday was a SUCK day, but delicious none the less. I ate way too much thanks to all the drugs they gave me. I don't even want to consider the calories. I'm STILL at the same weight I've been for DAYS and I want to hit something. But I'll refrain. I'm trying to be good today. I'm just so hungry. I think that like, bad days do that. They make you hungry the next day too.

Skinny Love posted up reverse thinspo. It made me wanna be sick.

Oh, I also woke up with permanent marker writing all over my body, that I don't remember doing (Ambien and Demarol apparently equals AWESOME). On my stomach is "Ana says eat less" and on my legs are "Control" and on my feet are "EAT LESS" so I see it when I look down at the scale. I was like "Well, if this isn't a little strange."

What's worse, is that the handwriting is really bad (has anyone ever tried to write on ambien?) so it actually likes like "4na says earmess".

I was like "What?"

I really need to put away my permanent markers before taking my sleeping pills.

I made a playlist. If anyone has more songs that work, lemme know :3 They're all on my thinspo playlist on my ipod.


  1. I have big tits too, sometimes it sucks. Oh wait, I USED to have big tits, damnit. I'd say count your blessings but I've been there and they do get in the way, however let me just tell you that it blows even worse to be fat with no tits haha.

  2. My pup is part chihuahua! he's half that and half poodle. you must post pics i bet yours is adorable.

  3. I'm a B. I'm starting to think I need to wear an A, though. But I always think that size doesn't matter as much as shape, and my boobies are very unshapely and ugly. ;-; I wouldn't mind if they would shrink a little.

  4. My 'tits' hehe used to be huge, but I never had them sized I just stuffed them into sports bras all the time & hated 'em! It may be weird, but I'm so excited I'm almost a B, & to think I used to cry in HS about not having any at all - cruel world!

  5. Tell me where you got those songs pleeeease!
    I cannot find them anywhere, and I so need to make a thinspo playlist.

    I've always had small breasts...sometimes I envy bigger-breasted girls but mostly I'm happy that mine are barely B's...although it gives me a pear-shaped body >:O

    I'm still recuperating from the scary St. Bernard jogging incident...and on days that I eat too much I have no desire to exercise.

  6. Souper...Tomato?

    There used to be Souper Salad; have they changed their names?

  7. Hahaha, I have DD's! I totally understand :0)

  8. Sure, a zip file would be awesome!

  9. I feel your pain. When I started I was a 36DD and although I've lost almost 40lbs, I'm still a 32D. To be honest I was hoping I'd lose a lot of weight off my chest... but no such luck. ]: