Thursday, April 23, 2009
"So you ran a mile, and then used weights."
"...what sort of bra were you wearing?"
"What sort of bra were you wearing?"
"A sports bra."
"How many sports bras?"
"...there's your problem."
Apparently, I fucked my back up something fierce. And the reason my shoulder gave out in the middle of weights isn't because my personal trainer was as fag (sorry if I just offended anyone), but because my BREASTS HATE ME.
Now, I'm "lucky". I have triple D breasts. When I was at my smallest, when my hipbones actually stuck out, I was still a D.
This means I have to wear three bras now when I run. Because my massive fat on my chest has decided to try and KILL ME.
On another note, I got off work tonight. I switched days with another girl (I'm a supervisor D:), but I don't remember calling in. I got some awesome drugs that wiped my ass out, and my boss messaged me to let me know I had it off, because he said I told him to, and that I was "more fucked up than 13yo lush". I love my boss sometimes. I do have a doctors note, if I can just find it.
Yesterday was a SUCK day, but delicious none the less. I ate way too much thanks to all the drugs they gave me. I don't even want to consider the calories. I'm STILL at the same weight I've been for DAYS and I want to hit something. But I'll refrain. I'm trying to be good today. I'm just so hungry. I think that like, bad days do that. They make you hungry the next day too.
Skinny Love posted up reverse thinspo. It made me wanna be sick.
Oh, I also woke up with permanent marker writing all over my body, that I don't remember doing (Ambien and Demarol apparently equals AWESOME). On my stomach is "Ana says eat less" and on my legs are "Control" and on my feet are "EAT LESS" so I see it when I look down at the scale. I was like "Well, if this isn't a little strange."
What's worse, is that the handwriting is really bad (has anyone ever tried to write on ambien?) so it actually likes like "4na says earmess".
I was like "What?"
I really need to put away my permanent markers before taking my sleeping pills.
ON ANOTHER NOTE
I made a playlist. If anyone has more songs that work, lemme know :3 They're all on my thinspo playlist on my ipod.