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Sunday, April 26, 2009


So I got yelled at by my favorite teacher. I've been missing class a lot this semester. Partially because of ADD, partially because the calorie restriction this past month has caused migraines like none other. I'm trying to balance out my calories/in take to avoid them. But still, it makes me super depressed. I keep replaying it in my head.
Part of it is that I'm also now in the official aftershock of a migraine, as well as my first dose of my new meds wearing off. I'm jittery, and depressed, and half panicked. I'm thirsty too.

On a good note, I'm usually a pound more before bed than I was when I woke up, due to food/liquid, no matter how little it is.
I'm less than I was when I woke up.
I hope that sticks through into tomorrow.

I also worked on my essay. It's on anorexia, ironically enough. And I've learned some awesome shit about OCD and OCPD as relates to Anorexia. Primarily being that it's one of the major traits of people with ED's, especially Ana. I find that interesting.

When I get down into the next 10's on my weight, I'll post up to everyone what my weight is, and what I'm down from (maybe :3). I'm kind of embarassed right now, but others with my weight have been talking about what they're at.

Or...well fuck it.
Hi, my name is PrettyWreck. I started at near 200 pounds. I am currently at 173.2. I am hoping to be at 170 by April 30th. If I can achieve this, I will have lost a little over 13 pounds in one month.
I want to be 120 by the time fall classes start in late August/early September.
I want to be 103 by November.

Now you know my goals.


I'm going to go hide under a rock now.

I just realized that if I can lose 12 pounds a month (2 more pounds this month), then I will be in the 130's by July. Which would be AWESOME.


  1. You're not going to hide ^^

    You know we are at the nearly same weight now, which was hard enough to reach. So you've done so well, it's awesome.
    Be proud of what you reached so far, it's great. :)

    I understand so well, when it comes to migraine. I'm suffering from this for years now. And it's getting worse. But the last days I didn't have a minute. Maybe it's because of that mix I'm drinking, since it's getting better since I started with that.

    And thx for you word on my open letter. You're right it's not easy, but I have to do it. Forget him and so on. If he wants me then againsomeday, he has to come to me on his damn knees xD

  2. The OCD thing I can definitely testify for. I have had so many OCD behavior problems. Sometimes I wonder if the fact I'm ana-ish is mostly just another OCD behavior or if it's mostly really really wanting to be thin. Or a mixture. Or they're one and the same. Dunnolol.

    You don't have to hide about your weight, because you're taking control and doing something about it.

    And at least your teacher /is/ yelling at you. If he didn't, that would mean he didn't care whether you're in class or not.

  3. My clothes are arranged in Roy G. Biv (rainbow...hey, isn't that pride?) order.

    Speaking of PRIDE, when the little captcha letter box that you have to type in before leaving a comment popped up, it said pride! haha, it was a strange coincidence. Maybe it just did that because the word pops up on your page?

    here's the link for it (since I want to share this marvelous coincidence):