Major Milestone

50.6-50.8 pounds.
That's how much I've lost.
When I started dieting, it was in like, October of last year? Maybe November. I went from 197 to about 184, and then stopped for a while because of pneumonia and then just general laziness. In April, I started restricting, weighing 184.
April 1, 2009. 184.
I am now at 146.2 as of this morning.

Three months.
37.8lb's.
That's about 12.6 lb's a month so far?

I just need to keep up this momentum. I have to keep pushing as hard as I can and as hard as I am. At 123lb's I'll be a healthy weight, and at 103 is when I think I'll be perfect. I want to try to end this month at like...145.8 or something, because I think I can lose a few ounces in two days, right?

And then if I lose 12 pounds one month, and 11 or 12 the next, I'll be at 123 or under by the end of August.
I'm going to be in the 130's by the end of next month. Hopefully way before that.
Oh my god.

I don't ever remember being in the 130's. I assume that's what I was at when I was at my thinnest, but I never stepped on a scale. I've never stepped on a scale and seen those numbers.
I've always been so big.
So heavy.
I'm going to make it into the 130's.
I'm going to make it lower.
But those numbers don't even seem real. I know I'll get there, I have to get there, and I'm afraid of thsi excitement, because what if I get so happy that I stop? But I don't think that'll happen. I just have to channel it to dedication to lose MORE, because I can't ever gain this back this time.

I'm doing this. I'm really doing this.
I'm losing the weight. And I'm not giving up.
I'm going to be out of the 140's soon.
I've lost more than 50 pounds.
I have 43 left to lose. I have lost more than I have left. I have never been there before.

Holy shit you guys.
I'm really gonna do this. I really AM doing this.



Why am I so amazed by this?
I mean
all I can this is just
"Woah".
I still don't see it.
But I do.
It's just that I'm still fat.
But I won't be. I'm not always going to be.
I'm going to be thin. I really am. I'm going to be one of those girls that people look at and want to be. I'm going to be hated because I am what they can't achieve. I'll be able to take pictures and post them and be proud of it.
Just

woah.

Sorry
I had to get that out of my system ♥

To reflect my mood, one of my most favorite happy-thinspo videos ever.





For your viewing pleasure, here are examples of 50 Pounds.

50 pounds of coral rock:

50 pounds of Marijuana:

50 Pounds of Sugar:

Imagine carrying that around on your body.