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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Major Milestone


50.6-50.8 pounds.
That's how much I've lost.
When I started dieting, it was in like, October of last year? Maybe November. I went from 197 to about 184, and then stopped for a while because of pneumonia and then just general laziness. In April, I started restricting, weighing 184.
April 1, 2009. 184.
I am now at 146.2 as of this morning.

Three months.
37.8lb's.
That's about 12.6 lb's a month so far?

I just need to keep up this momentum. I have to keep pushing as hard as I can and as hard as I am. At 123lb's I'll be a healthy weight, and at 103 is when I think I'll be perfect. I want to try to end this month at like...145.8 or something, because I think I can lose a few ounces in two days, right?

And then if I lose 12 pounds one month, and 11 or 12 the next, I'll be at 123 or under by the end of August.
I'm going to be in the 130's by the end of next month. Hopefully way before that.
Oh my god.

I don't ever remember being in the 130's. I assume that's what I was at when I was at my thinnest, but I never stepped on a scale. I've never stepped on a scale and seen those numbers.
I've always been so big.
So heavy.
I'm going to make it into the 130's.
I'm going to make it lower.
But those numbers don't even seem real. I know I'll get there, I have to get there, and I'm afraid of thsi excitement, because what if I get so happy that I stop? But I don't think that'll happen. I just have to channel it to dedication to lose MORE, because I can't ever gain this back this time.

I'm doing this. I'm really doing this.
I'm losing the weight. And I'm not giving up.
I'm going to be out of the 140's soon.
I've lost more than 50 pounds.
I have 43 left to lose. I have lost more than I have left. I have never been there before.

Holy shit you guys.
I'm really gonna do this. I really AM doing this.



Why am I so amazed by this?
I mean
all I can this is just
"Woah".
I still don't see it.
But I do.
It's just that I'm still fat.
But I won't be. I'm not always going to be.
I'm going to be thin. I really am. I'm going to be one of those girls that people look at and want to be. I'm going to be hated because I am what they can't achieve. I'll be able to take pictures and post them and be proud of it.
Just

woah.

Sorry
I had to get that out of my system ♥

To reflect my mood, one of my most favorite happy-thinspo videos ever.





For your viewing pleasure, here are examples of 50 Pounds.

50 pounds of coral rock:



50 pounds of Marijuana:



50 Pounds of Sugar:


Imagine carrying that around on your body.

11 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, congrats! That is AWESOME! Truly inspiring. :) I love your determination. You can do it! Stay strong.

    xo
    Piper

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well done :D
    I'm so very happy for you :)
    Let's hope the good mood last and you weight keeps falling. You're doing so well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. omg your post almost made me cry!
    im so happy for you, you are amazing! keep up the awesome work your doing great.
    i know it feels weird to be all amazed at losing fifty pounds. i was 215 at my highest, and now that i'm finally in the 160s im like whoa.... :)
    its the best feeling ever :)
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  4. so happy for you! that's some amazing work you've accomplished! I love the pictures of 50lbs, it's a crazy reminder of what we were once toting around everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's awesome!!!! I'm so proud of you! keep going and you'll get there soon!!!!

    xo
    eliena

    ReplyDelete
  6. thats amazing, your such an inspiration!
    hopefully I can think of it in that way too,
    look at how I've done, or should do in the long run, thanks for the video,
    really needed it, hope your okay :) x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for the great motivation !You will reach your goal ! We have the same start weight, and I'm going to do it too. Keep up the good work! That's my favorite thinspo video, I watch it several times a week !!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow-- congratulations. That is AMAZING progress and a huge motivation. I can only imagine how accomplished and happy you must be right now. Thank for you for the inspiration.

    I just found your blog, and I'm really enjoying catching up on it :)

    -Clem

    ReplyDelete
  9. Congratulaions!
    That really is quite an accomplishment.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry to comment on an old post, but I'm reading your blog from the beginning and just had to say that so far ... I'm wow'ed. It's truly amazing what you've accomplished and I'm really looking forward to seeing where you are now.

    And I loved the thinspo video. I'm from Denmark and recognized the song like immediately. Anybody worth being friends with in DK likes Natasja, and you totally get props for posting that

    Love.

    ReplyDelete