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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Bingey binge McBinge-face

Not touching the scale today.
I went to the gym, and when I got home, I was at 124.
Then my stepmom made blueberry muffin mix in the form of a cake. I was planning on taking just a small slice, since I still had calories left, but I wound up taking a size that was probably a full damn serving. Then I took a full ambien, and didn't go to sleep like I knew I should. Instead, I had a jello mousse with dark chocolate chips put in it (60 cal mousse, 60 cal chocolate chips=120cals total) and a slimfast 100 calorie bar in peanutbutter (at least 200cals).
And a bunch of milk.
And gave myself a migraine because I fucking fail.

Now I have a migraine, and I'm tired, and fat.
And I can't gym today.
Because of migraine, and because I did it two days in a row, already.
I was supposed to have my intake appointment for the chiropractor to get my xrays done, and they were going to do an electro-treatment for tension until they analyzed the results enough to be able to come up with a treatment (I have a curvature in my spine that most chiropractors won't touch because of how long it's been there. It's right at the base of my skull, and is from an injury when I was a little kid. They're going to see if they can treat it). But...if this migraine progresses like it feels like it is, I won't be able see, much less drive by the end of the night.


I'm off to shower and halfass drag myself to work.
And I can't starve with a migraine. I can try to restrict a little, but god, I hate this.
I hate this so much.
Why did I have to stay up? If i had gone to bed, I wouldn't have binged and would have been in the 124 range.
I wouldn't have given myself the migraine.
I wouldn't have felt this tired for staying up too late past bedtime.
Instead, I'm a failure, and now I'm paying for it.

Stupid, stupid, stupid me.
At least I am hurting for this. It is a punishment inflicted by my own body.
It's a way of making sure I don't do this again.


  1. I'm so sorry. Hang in there girl. Today will be a better day.

    And that pic is seriously disturbing. Yikes!


  2. people of walmart how I loath thee...

    & it's true, you can make today a better day, good luck!

  3. It is OKAY!!

    I am sorry things didn't go great. It totally sucks to have migraines. I hope they can help you with your spine tho...

    <3 <3 <3 Sadie

  4. We all slip up. Like Africana said, today will be a better day. As for that migraine, I hope you feel better soon. I'm still rooting for you!!!

  5. Love, no one said this would be easy. What can you expect? Just go on.