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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Survey from OG and others

Size: 6 (US)
Age: early 20's
Highest Weight: 198lbs
Lowest Weight: 125lbs
Goal Weight: 103lbs

Favorite Diet Food?
Diet pepsi, broth, low cal bagels, yorki mints, grapes, soy beans, buttered popcorn rice cakes

Favorite Binge Food?
Anything chocolatey and sweet dipped in a jar of low fat skippy peanut butter. A jar of skippy peanut butter, soft pretzels and nacho cheese, pizza, burgers, chocolate pastries

Favorite Exercise?
Running, rowing

Before and after shots, real girl, some model

What Makes You Slip Up?
Being physically and emotionally exhausted

What Makes You Strong?
Seeing the scale go down.

When Did It Start?
April 09

Does Anyone Know?
People who read this, a few on line friends (nobody I know irl)

Do You Want Help?
No. I don't think I need it.

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day?
I used to only eat 600, but I'm at 800-900 (a lot, but it's working).

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
Depending on the day, either someone who looks damn good, or someone who's too disgusting to go outside.

Are You In A Relationship?
It's complicated.

Is It For Attention?
Everything we do is for attention, either positive or negative. Am I doing this to get attention and make people say, "ONO she's hurting"? No. I'm doing this to feel better about myself, and get attention from girls and be more confident in approaching other females I find attractive, not worrying that they'll be thinking, "Why is this fat dyke talking to me?"

Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends?
Strangely? Currently? The THIN one....

Are You Depressed?
Yes, thanks to hormones.

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide?
First real attempt--6th grade. Downed two bottles of cleaning solution, three bottles cough syrup, a bottle of sleeping pills, half a bottle of acne medicine (I was a kid and didn't know what else to take XD) and some draino.
Second attempt--7th grade. 86 aspirin.
Third attempt--10th grade. 27 Wellbutrin.
Fourth attempt and last--Senior year. Drug overdose (illegal substances).
I had a really rough childhood, involving physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, not to mention the relationships I wound up falling in to. I'm fairly stable, considering where I came from.

Ever Been To A Psychologist?
Back in the day, and presently, to stay medicated for my ADD.

Are You On Any Medication?
Adderall, Ambien

I AM -
[ ] anorexic
[x] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] eating something
[ ] under 100lbs
[x] starving myself
[ ] participating in a fast
[ ] vegan

[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[x] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[x] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic
[ ] have tried to stop me

[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was prettier
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia
[ ] I had a boy/girlfriend
[x] I could disappear

[ ] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference
[x] shaking
[ ] being weak (but strong at the same time)
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

[x] when people stare
[x] being asked questions
[x] having to eat
[ ] being single
[x] wearing short skirts
[x] being fat
[x] looking ugly
[x] feeling this way
[ ] fat people

[ ] more support
[x] people to stay out of my business
[x] more friends
[ ] someone to know
[x] less food
[x] more water
[ ] a gym membership
[ ] to lose 50 lbs
[~ actually only about 22] to lose 30 lbs
[ ] to lose 10 lbs