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Monday, November 23, 2009

Calming Down

Yesterday before bed I was 124.4.

Took a full ambien, and wound up binging again. Not a lot. But I was up to 125.4. I'm not too pissed right now, because I was honestly afraid that with all I've been eating, I'd be up in the 126-127 range. exercise and eating badly=weight fluxuation of an average of 1lb up and down? I'm totally cool with that.
Tuesday morning is the return to the gym.
Again. Took the weekend off to clean, and today, I take my step mom to the doctors. So I'm hoping that my return will hail the loss of more weight before the end of November. Which would be awesome. It would be amazing if i could end the month at 122. That would be 9 pounds this month. I doubt I could do it (though I was at 124.4, so maybe? Maybe I could just get to 123?) but it's a nice thought.

I go out to brunch (technical brunch, but a little past my dinner time because of my schedule) with my step mom today. I plan to eat maybe soup or something, because I'm so afraid of waking up and paying for all I've been eating. I know this weekend i haven't exceeded more than 1300 calories a day, but still, that feels like such a huge number now. And 2000 nearly makes me hyperventilate to consider it.

I'm going to study when I take her to her first doctors appointment, since I'm taking her to the docs, then to brunch, then we're both going to the chiropractor's/physical therapy office I went to, so they can see if they can find out what's wrong with her. I'm hoping they can. We both have a similar experience with doctors.

If I could get down to 123, that would mean I had lost 8 pounds this month.
That means by the end of the December, I would be 115lb, and by the end of January I'd be 107lb's, and by the end of February, my goal weight!
I doubt I'll lose 8lbs a month, but it's nice to dream!
It would be BETTER if I could somehow lose the last remaining 23lb's by January 26th (my birthday).
Be 103lb's for my 23rd birthday.
Ah, doubtful.
But a girl can dream.

(Though if I am 123 by December 1st, then I'd only have 20lbs to lose. That would be .35lb's a day, or 10.8lb's a month. Maybe if I pushed really hard? :3)


  1. You can do it! You are such an inspiration to me!

  2. Hey girlie!

    have some faith in urself. Look how awesomely well u have done so far!

    I bet you can lose those full 9 pounds!

    Just keep working at it!

    <3 shady

  3. Oooo, I love ambien! Have you ever attempted to stay awake once you've taken one? So much fun! It makes everything so, I guess the word would be "interesting"? I don't know, just try it. It's rather nice. Like a little bit drunk, and a little bit euphoric, little giggly, little calm... Then you fall asleep all nice like. Too bad my mom's got only exactly 10. I mean, I could buy some off the internet, but I don't feel like spending money. Just next time you take ambien, try enjoying it a little, you might be surprised! Try reading a book or walking around the house, harder and more fun at the same time, like a wicked challenge. :)

  4. Oh, wait. Did you binge BECAUSE of the ambien? Eh, not good. Perhaps it affects differently.

  5. You can do it! you are so amazing! I still can not believe over 70lbs total.. and you are shooting for 9 in just this month? WOW!!! :) The most i ever hit was almost 8 in a month... but it was SO hard!
    keep it up!

  6. I like that you aren't rushing and panicking, it just sets people up for dissappointment. I'll be at the gym same time.

    You are on the right track. Those binges? Don't look back. Control.

  7. I think the pace you've been keeping is great! You're doing such a great job. Yes, a girl can dream and is sure is fun. You're awesome and I'm glad to see that you're on track.