Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I am Chuck Norris and Yoda's Love Child
"You don't need to worry. I am Chuck Norris and Yoda's love child. I am the Jedi Dyke, but you can call me Daddy. Daddy will handle your family. Daddy handle's all the bitches families."
Evidence of my amazing.
To everyone who comments: if I'm not following you, let me know. I just realized today that someone I've been talking to for a bit through here, I wasn't following! And they comment a lot! So if you comment to me and follow, and I'm not returning, prod me. I always try to take time to read the blogs everyone that reply to mine :3
Still no weight loss. A few ounces down from yesterday, but stuck all the same. I'm trying to eat a little more today before I go to the gym, but I'm utterly exhausted. I've been weening off my ambien the past few days, which I don't think helps when already on a plateau, but the side effects of long term use have officially scared the living shit out of me. I know I'm addicted to it, but since I've been cutting back, I've been more tired than ever and unable to sleep. Hopefully it'll pass, and at least I'm not in school right now.
My weight, when I first woke up, was 166.6. It went to 166.4 after fifteen minutes (the normal time I weigh myself-fifteen to twenty minutes after waking up), but I keep seeing 166.6. It's like it's a sign.
My scale is possessed by the devil.
When I worked at Home Depot, they had these self check out lanes. I learned from a friend who was a strict Catholic the gist of exorcisms, since she had accompanied her priest on a few here in town. Apparently, it was some weird shit. But yeah, so, the self check out lanes were broken, and they were refusing to fix them. So I threatened my boss when he kept putting me on them, that if he didn't get them fixed, I was going to exorcise them. Of course, he didn't believe me. So one day I came in on shift with some rosary beads and a bible, and a bottle of holy water she gave me, and started praying over them and doing some exorcism shit. Boss freaked, of course, and put me on a different lane once he was done cracking up. Needless to say they did get fixed.
But I was tempted to do the same to my scale this morning. Go find that little bottle of holy water she gave me (I used to love collecting all that shit. I have a weird fetish for different religious ceremonies, I swear XD) and start sprinkling my scale with the whole "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU" but I know it wouldn't do anything, except make me feel better, which actually is something, isn't it? I mean, it's not affective, because my scale isn't REALLY possessed, but I could cackle about it later. And it's not like...hitting it with a brick. Like I really want to do.
Anyway...I'm...in a much better mood today. I don't know if I'll meet this goal for the month, so I'm lowering it down to ten pounds again, which...I'm not happy about, but it's less stress than I've been facing. I think I'll be able to do it, and to pull this off, so long as I just stay strong and keep pushing through this.
And all the support is amazing. It means a lot to me, and I adore the hell out of you guys more than I can even say.
Mm, and about the plateau--I don't ever do the same exorcise twice in a row. I do use the same machines more than once, but I jump around every day. Sometimes I do more weights than aerobics, sometimes more aerobics than weights, never the same machine, never the same part of the body. I switch it up a lot to stop from getting into a routine, because I know that regimines kill. The bagels and carbs I eat are all "Mini" versions, and tend to be organic and low cal, but I'll cut back on the carbs and increase the protein hardcore. Thing is, I have to watch what I buy and eat very carefully because of my allergies--I can't afford an epi pen, and there's something (we can't even find out what it is) that can send me into anaphylaxis with just a few bites. Nestle cookies are one of them, and so are raw bananas and tomatos. It's terrifying.
I have picked up on my water in take. I think I was getting really dehydrated, especially with my new medication.
I'm hoping to shake this today. I'm on day 5 of the plateau which is the longest they normally last, and if it goes past well...I'll not be pleased.
I have an aunt who literally has been stuck at hers for a year, and when she told me that, I about vomitted.
I won't do that.
I don't care if I have to fast for a month.
I'll break this.
Just fucking watch me.