When it rains, it god damn pours....

I'm not going to feel bad for what I said to you.
You KNOW that I love you. You know that.
Does she?
Everytime we talk, she gets angry. She tells you to stop. And you listen. I don't care how you feel about me. I want my god damned friend back.

I'm not going to feel bad for what I said to you. Because you made me cry. You have that power over me.
I'm fucking dying inside. I'm stuck on this stupid weight thing, and I'm alone, and I had you back for one day in months, and she made you stop talking to me, and you get pissed over one snide remark I make?

Fuck this. Fuck this all.
You've told me before that I'm not going to lose you. That if you were with me, you'd treat me the way I wanted, and even as a friend, you'd treat me with respect, which is all I have ever asked of you. You know my history, you know how bad I can be when I don't just get told, even every ffew days, a message of "I haven't forgotten you". That's all I need. That's it. Not even a conversation. Just a reminder that I'm not forgotten, and you promised you would do that, because you knew how I felt and I get nothing, because SHE won't let you.

SHE, the girl who fucking left you crying alone on a couch when your mom went into a coma and told you to get the fuck over it. She, who throws tantrums when your loved ones are dying, or gets herself arrested for drugs, and you, who goes to her no matter what.

And you listen to her, over me, the person who's been there. Who's walked out of work for you, who hasn't slept for you, who would do anything for you.

You told me I wasn't going to ever lose you.
But even if that's the case, it doesn't matter anymore.

Because you just lost me.

I'm not going to love you anymore, now. I'm sorry. But this isn't worth it to me now.