Keep an eye out for my Summer Challenge I was talking about earlier, coming out on May 8th :*
I had gained .8 pounds. Today when I woke up, after I weighed myself, I just felt tired. My dad got KFC, and yeah, it was the grilled kind, but I had planned out my day today before I went to bed. I needed to make room for something that was actually filling before my final exam in bio, because I don't know if anyone has ever tried to recall the make up of a cell wall of a prokaryote without any food, but it's fucking HARD.
So yeah, I felt really tired, and hungry, and discouraged. I seriously contemplated a bite of potatoes, but then I remembered that this isn't just about losing weight. This is about controlling what I want, and my desires, and overall my life. It's more than just a struggle to see the bones I so desperately crave, but also a war to prove that I am better than my urgings. I brought up memories about how proud I felt when I first started and said "No thank you" so often to food. So I said "No Thank you" today and came to work. Now I'm on a regime for today that won't let me go over 600 calories, which is still a lot, because I'm normally down at 400 now, but I figure the slight up is good to keep my head clear for exams, and it's only two days.
I've managed to stick on target today with calorie intake. So far? 320 calories. If I don't eat anything else, I can have 280 calories before class to go off of for my exam, but I'll try to stick under that. I don't want to be distracted by light headedness from lack of food, but also don't want to be distracted by thoughts of how much I ate :O!
Anyway, here's some pictures of things that I want to buy when I'm small enough to wear them. All socks and sock garters and arm warmers, because I have a fetish.