.o13

Keep an eye out for my Summer Challenge I was talking about earlier, coming out on May 8th :*

I had gained .8 pounds. Today when I woke up, after I weighed myself, I just felt tired. My dad got KFC, and yeah, it was the grilled kind, but I had planned out my day today before I went to bed. I needed to make room for something that was actually filling before my final exam in bio, because I don't know if anyone has ever tried to recall the make up of a cell wall of a prokaryote without any food, but it's fucking HARD.

So yeah, I felt really tired, and hungry, and discouraged. I seriously contemplated a bite of potatoes, but then I remembered that this isn't just about losing weight. This is about controlling what I want, and my desires, and overall my life. It's more than just a struggle to see the bones I so desperately crave, but also a war to prove that I am better than my urgings. I brought up memories about how proud I felt when I first started and said "No thank you" so often to food. So I said "No Thank you" today and came to work. Now I'm on a regime for today that won't let me go over 600 calories, which is still a lot, because I'm normally down at 400 now, but I figure the slight up is good to keep my head clear for exams, and it's only two days.

**Edit**
I've managed to stick on target today with calorie intake. So far? 320 calories. If I don't eat anything else, I can have 280 calories before class to go off of for my exam, but I'll try to stick under that. I don't want to be distracted by light headedness from lack of food, but also don't want to be distracted by thoughts of how much I ate :O!

**

Anyway, here's some pictures of things that I want to buy when I'm small enough to wear them. All socks and sock garters and arm warmers, because I have a fetish.