Friday, May 15, 2009
Ugh. I don't know if you'd count what I just did as a binge. I'm still under the calories I was allowed for the day, but is a binge over eating? Or is it a loss of control while doing it?
I'm not sure how much control was lost. Because I had the presence of mind to keep chugging water between each bite so I had a stomach ache not long after I started. But still.
One thing I ate I know is a trigger to maybe two people on my list? So I won't write what it is. About 30 cal.
2 Slices Lunchmeant - 45
5 chips - 70
I...didn't breathe between shoving my face. I think the cold water was more of a help than I can even explain.
That puts me at 585 calories for the day.
I burned about 500-600 at the gym today?
I also got a new scale.
I decided to weigh myself first thing when I got home, before I started eating, to see what it was, so I would know, essentially, what I started this week at.
Wound up after a minute going up to 162. So yeah. I'm cool with that for now.
When I go down another ten pounds? I'll be at one of my lowest weights ever (at least sober weight XD).
I tend to stop when I get down to 150, but I need to push past it this time. If I can, I know I can do the rest.
I just keep imagining the end goal.
I want to be able to post pictures of before and after. At the end of this challenge, I want to be able to show my before pictures with pride compared to the after.
I just have to keep pushing.
I am VERY tired now though. I need to stay up a little longer to try and let my body have a chance to process the shit I just shoved in my mouth like a fucking hoover.
I've been up long enough.
Bed time for me now.
Oh, and according to my new awesome scale, I'm 41.6% body weight, and my bones weigh something like 4 or 5 pounds or something XD