Day six of plateau.
When I woke up, I was still less right off. 166.0 , but it did wind up shooting up again in like, three minutes, to 166.6. But I had a feeling like...okay...my body has started again. I was starved. To the point where I would have sacrificed an orphan for some Wendy's.
Two, if you included extra salt.
I haven't been hungry like that since the plateau started. It was like last night, before bed, I could almost feel when this trigger was switched in my body turning it "on". I'm still upping my calories for one more day, because I'm petrified, but I'm also going back to the gym. I'll work myself slowly back into the hardcore exercising I was doing, and maybe will only try to get over the 1000+ burn mark on weekends and keep it easy over the weekdays. Try to not let it get on a pattern like this again.
I'm scared that it's not really "on" now though. That I'll wake up and it'll be the same tomorrow. But I just have to hold my breath and hope for the best, I guess.
I've also cut back on my ambien. 10mg tablets, 1 a day; then down to 1/2 a tablet once a day; now I'm down to 1/4. I'm going to stick at 1/4 for a few days, and then try on a weekend or something and see if i can actually sleep on my own.
It will be the first time in over a year.
I want to chew on my shirt for some reason. I don't know why. But I just had the urge to bite on my shirt and fall out of my chair and roll around.
Probably because I'm REALLY FUCKING BORED. And I keep thinking about how all I want right now is to just get out of the 160's and NEVER SEE IT AGAIN.
I'm so SICK of that number on my scale. I want to get past this weight and just...yeah. That's all my goal is for the month right now. Not to lose a certain amount of weight (though I still hope I can get the 13.4 I got last month, at LEAST) but to just...get the FUCK out of the 160's.
NEVER SEE IT AGAIN.
I am NOT a religious person! But to see "666" EVERY MORNING does provide a certain level of "WTF GOD DAMN IT SATAN" to my daily routine that I could happily go without. When the devil is one of the first thoughts that helps to start your day, it's generally not a good thing, is it?
I'm also distracting myself. My coworker just made some taquitos (toquitos? TAWKEETOES--I cannot spell today, but now I can't stop saying that word. It's a FUN word...anyway)...yeah...he brought some of those rolled taco thingies his wife cooked for him at home. I love Mexican food, and they make it all from scratch at their house, and it's always greasy and so tasty delicious. and he's sitting there grubbing on it, hands coated in grease, dipping it in salsa going "You sure you don't want one?"
My tastebuds are screaming "GIVE ME NAO" and my fat is going "yeessss add to our fleshy mass. Let us expand!" and my willpower is going, "getitawaygetitawaygetitaway!"
I'm way too hyper.
PS I just remembered this video after like, YEARS of not having seen it. It's...still as immature and fantastic as the first day we played it in Jr. Year of High school. Goodness. That was like, 2003 or something XD Now I need to go find Trogdor.
I would not change the time I grew up in for anything. We had great memes.